Kia Commodore

A Little Bit Richer

Our podcast offers bite-sized money management tips. Great for listeners in their twenties and early thirties. 

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Kia: While  your  wedding  date  is  one  of  the  happiest  days  of  your  life,  it  can  also  be  one  of  the  most  expensive  days.  In  2023,  the  average  UK  wedding  costs  over 20, 000  pounds  with  the  cost  of  living  and  inflation  pushing  up  prices  from 2022.  But  proper  planning,  budgeting,  and  research  can  help  you  build  the  day  of  your  dreams and  reduce  the  financial  stresses  to  that  you  focus  on  the  fun  build  up  to  your  big day.  Welcome  to  another  episode  of  A  Little  Bit  Richer, brought to  you  by  my  friends  at  Legal  and  General.

Here  to  help  us  navigate  the  world  of  weddings  and  how  to  manage  the  costs  is  Ellie  Austin- Williams.  Ellie  is  the  author  of  Money  Talks:  A  Lifestyle  Guide  for  Financial  Wellbeing  and  the  founder  of  This  Girl  Talks  Money.  With  an  online community  of  over  50,000  people,  Ellie  provides  knowledge,  insights,  and  a  safe  space  to  help  people  gain  confidence  and  ownership  over  their  finances.  Welcome  to  the  show  Ellie.

Ellie: Thank  you  for  having  me.

Kia: I'm  excited  to  talk  about  this,  because  for  once,  I  actually  am  not  the  expert.  I'm  here  to  learn  from  you.

Ellie: Okay,  I'll  do  my  best.

Kia: I'm  super  excited  to  talk  about  this.  So  we're  talking  all  about  love  and  weddings.

Ellie: Yes.

Kia: To  get  things  started,  what  advice  would  you  have  for  couples  at  the  beginning  of  their  wedding  planning  journey  to  help  them  manage  the  costs  of  the  big  day?

Ellie: Well,  I  think  to  start  off  with,  enjoy  the  moment.  When  you  get  engaged,  it's  so  exciting  and  I  think  that  we're  talking  about  money  today  and  that  is  a  big  aspect  of  it,  but  there's  definitely  a  time  for  celebration  and  excitement  before  you  get  into  the  nitty- gritty.

The  first  thing  that  I  would  always  encourage  people  to  do is  to  sit  down  together  and  write  down  your  priorities.  Individually,  first  of  all,  what  your  priorities  are  when  you  think  about  what  you  want  your  wedding  to  look  like.  And  then  compare  notes  and  go  through  and  see,  are  they  aligned?  If  not,  no  problem,  but  you  are  going  to  keep  coming  back  to  this  list  of  priorities.  And  if  you  don't  do  it,  it's  going  to  end  up  causing  chaos  when  you  go  through  the  planning  and  particularly  the  budget.

Kia: I  think  that's a  really  good  point.  Because  for  me  what's  really  important  is  the  dress  and  the  food.  Everything  else  we  can  cheap  out  on  in  my  opinion,  but  the  dress  and  the  food  is  what ...  especially  the  food.

Ellie: Absolutely.  Because  most  of  us  are  working  to  some  sort  of  budget  with  a  wedding.  If  you  don't  have  an  unlimited  budget,  you  have  to  make  choices  and  you  want  to  make  sure  that  you're  making  those  choices  in  a  way  that  aligns  with  getting  you  as  close  as  possible  to  the  day  that  you've  envisaged  and  the  day  that  you've  dreamed.  You  need  to  have  an  order  of  priority  to  work  through  or  you're  just  going  to  end  up  getting  tied  up  in  knots.

Kia: I  love  that.  I  think  it  is  so  crucial.  Off  the  back  of  budget  then,  what  suggestions  do  you  have  around  managing  and  allocating  a  wedding  budget?

Ellie: I  think  first  of  all,  you  really  need  to  get  clear  on  what  your  budget  is  at  the  start,  because  the  biggest  trap  you  can  fall  into  when  you're  getting  married  is  looking  at  things  you  can't  afford.  Do  not  go  near  a  dress  that  is  outside  your  budget.  Because  I  can  tell  you,  you'll  fall  in  love  with  that  dress  and  every  dress  that's  in  your  budget  that  you  try  on-

Kia: You  won't  like  anymore.

Ellie: You won't like anymore.  So  there  is  no  point  doing  it.  So  get  really  clear  on  what  your  budget  is  before  you  start  actually  looking.  But  don't  start  actually  going  and  viewing  things,  trying  stuff  on,  ordering  things,  until  you  know  what  you're  working  with.  And  that  involves  having  some  of  the  conversations  that  you  might  need  to  have  about  budget.  Because  we're  in  2024,  things  are  a  bit  different  in  terms  of  how  couples  fund  weddings.  

A  lot  of  couples  self- fund  them.  A  lot  of  people  do  still  get  family  help,  but  family  help  can  mean  both  families.  So  have  those  conversations  early  on  so  there  aren't  any  surprises,  there  aren't  any  misaligned  expectations,  and  you  can  go  into  the  actual  planning  process  with  your  eyes  open  and  with  a  clear  idea  of  how  much  money  you've  got  in  that  account  to  spend.

Kia: Realistic  expectations  is  such  a  big  thing,  because  if  people  are  going  to  contribute,  because  they've  said ...  sometimes  you might  have  family  members who  say, " Oh  yeah,  don't  worry,  we'll  help  you  out."  Okay,  but  how  much?

Ellie: What does that mean?

Kia: How much is that helping out? Is that  500  pounds?  Is  that  a  couple  of  grand?  What  am  I  looking  at  so  I  can  factor  that  into  how  much  we  actually  have  to  spend  on  that  wedding.

Ellie: Yeah,  absolutely.  Because  the  difference  between  500 and 2, 000  when  you're  planning  a  wedding is  a  lot.  So  you  need  to  know  that  because  you  don't  want  to  fall  into  the  trap  where  you  make  the  2, 000  pound  decision  and  it  turns  out  you're  only  getting  200  pounds.

Kia: Oh  my gosh.

Ellie: And  then  you've  got  to  plug  the  gaps.  And  it  happens  so  often  and  it  can  be  avoided  a  lot  of  the  time  by  having  these  conversations  up  front.

Kia: I  think  a  lot  of  people  are  just  worried  to  talk  about  money  and  it's  not  easy.  I  don't  think  we're  saying  it's  easy.

Ellie: No, it's not.

Kia: But it  is  important  if  you  want  to  stay  within  your  budget it  is  very,  very  important.  As  we've  said,  paying  for  a  wedding  is  a  big  expense,  and  when  you  couple  that  with  our  normal  financial  commitments,  it  can  get  quite  pricey.  So  do  you  have  any  thoughts  on  how  people  can  get  that  money  together  for  the  big  day?

Ellie: Yeah,  absolutely.  We're  talking  about  a  cost of  around 20, 000  pounds  is  the  average  at  the  moment  in  the  UK.  And  obviously  that's  an  average,  so  a  lot  of  weddings  are  going  way  above  that.  The  cost  of  living  is  high  at  the  moment,  so  it's  no  surprise  people  are  getting  stressed  and  worried  about  how  to  afford  a  wedding.  There are  a  few  different  things  to  think  about.

First  of  all,  a  longer  engagement  can  help  give  you  time.  There  is  absolutely  no  need  to  rush  a  wedding.  You  can  enjoy  the  engagement.  Make  the  most  of  it.  Add  an  extra  year,  in  the  long  term  that  is  not  going  to  make  a  difference.  It  gives  you  that  extra  12  months  to  save  up.  Thinking  about  the  size  of  the  wedding  is  also  a  really  helpful  way  to  try  and  manage  costs.  Again,  I've  had  so  many  conversations  with  people  about  this.  

Where  you  start  off  with  an  idea  of  the  size  of  the  wedding  and  it  just  spirals  and  it  can  be  really  difficult,  because  I  know  parents  typically  get  very  excited  when  their  children  are  getting  married  and  invite  everyone,  and  that's  lovely.

And  I  do  think  it's  slightly  different  where  you're  getting  contributions  from  family  in  terms  of  how  much  control  and  say  they  get  over  what  happens  with  a  wedding.  But  the  biggest  cost  usually  is  the  food  and  beverage  cost  per  head.  

You're  looking  at  somewhere  around  90- 100  pounds  per  person.  And  given  that  most  weddings  you're  looking  at  like 60, 80,  100  guests  at  least,  that's  where  the  bulk  of  that  cost  tends  to  come  from  if  you're  sitting  down  and  having  a  three  course  meal  with  drinks  and  the  champagne  reception  and  all  of  that.  Scaling  down the size of  the  wedding  can  really  help  you  to  manage  the  costs.

Obviously,  if  you  can  save  as  much  as  possible  then  that  is  brilliant.  But  I  know  that  a  lot  of  people  will  be  in  a  situation  when  they're  thinking  about  borrowing  for  a  wedding.  And  the  first  thing  to  say  there  is  to  just  think  about  how  you're  going  to  repay  it.  

Please  do  try  and  think  about  a  plan  for  repayment,  but  also  factor  in  the  overall  cost  of  lending  and  try  and  work  out  whether  the  best  option  for  you  is  going  to  be  a  loan  or  whether  there  is  a  credit  card  where  you  can  get  some  0%  percent  borrowing.  It  really  is  going  to  depend  on  each  individual,  but  trying  to  reduce  the  cost of  any  borrowing  that  you  do  need  for  the  wedding  is  going  to  help  you  overall  when  it  comes  to  keeping  within  that  budget.

I  also  think  it's  really  worth  thinking  about  things  like  the  dress.  If  it's  going  to  take you  a  year  or  two  to  save  up  the  amount  for  a  brand  new  dress  that  you  want,  can  you  find  that  dress  secondhand,  pre- loved,  and  get  it  tailored  to  fit  you  for  a  fraction  of  the  cost?  There  are  so  many  ways  that  you  can  be  creative  now,  because  you  want  to  enjoy  this  process  of  planning  a  wedding.  It's  meant  to  be  a  celebration.  It's  meant  to  be  something  you  enjoy.  So  putting  too  much  financial  pressure  on  I  think  can  take  a  bit  of  that  joy  away  from  it.

Kia: I'm  happy  that  you  mentioned  pre- loved  and  secondhand.  I  think  it's  a  great  way  to  reduce  the  cost  and  be  sustainable.

Ellie: Exactly.

Kia: And  enjoy  your  big  day  because  financial  stress  shouldn't  come  into  it.  However,  I  would  be  remiss  to  say  that it  is  still  a  massive  thing  that  a  lot  of  couples  do  experience.  So  for  any  couples  who  are  struggling  with  that  financial  pressure,  what  advice  would  you  have  for  them  when  it  comes  to  managing  that,  when  they're  planning  for  their  wedding?

Ellie: Yeah.  I  think  go  back  to  that  starting  point  that  I  mentioned  about  priorities  and  really  sit  down  and  drill  into  that.  Because  as  much  as  you  start  off  with  these  good  intentions,  and  it  can  be  really  easy  to  lose  perspective  of  A,  what  you  set  out  to  achieve  and  what's  important  to  you,  but  also  B,  the  constraints  that  you're  working  within.

But  what  I  really  don't  want  people  to  end  up  doing  is  finding  themselves  just  popping  things  on  the  credit  card  here,  there,  everywhere,  and  forgetting  about  it  and  then  ending  up  racking  up  these  really  expensive  charges  because  they're  trying  to  achieve  this  picture  perfect  day  when  actually  they  could  do  it  on  a  budget  and  they  could  stay  within  their  initial  constraints.  Every  time  you're  making  a  decision,  go  back  to  that  priority  list,  go  back  to  the  budget.  Where  are  you?  Are  things  costing  more  than  you  expected?  Are  things  costing  less?  Are  there  changes  that  you  can  make?

If,  for  example,  food  is  something  that's  really  important  to  you,  what are the  creative  ways  that  you  can  make  sure  that  you're  getting  the  high  quality,  but  without  necessarily  paying  for  the  three  course  silver  service  experience?  Because  there  are  options  for  that.  Good  food  doesn't  have  to  be  expensive.  Again,  venues  are  another  one.  

I  know  a  lot  of  people  have  the  idea  in  their  head  of  the  type  of  venue  that  they  want  for their  wedding,  but  actually  can  you  create  the  atmosphere  and  the  vibe  that  you  want  for  your  day  at  a  venue  that's  not  going  to  cost  you  an  arm  and  a  leg?  And  there  are  also  ways  to  reduce  the  cost of  a  venue.  Looking  at  different  seasons  is  a  big  one.  Looking  at  different  days  of  the  week.

Kia: We  have  social  media,  you  see  what  other  people  have  done  and  you  might  think,  right,  I've  got  to do  what  this  person  did,  or  I've  got  to  try  and  do  better  than  what  they  did,  but  it  is  your  day,  so  it  should  be  tailored  to  you  and  whatever  you  can  afford.  But  whatever  you  want,  most  importantly.  What  are  some  other  creative  ways  that  couples  can  implement  to  reduce  the  prices  that  they  have  to  pay  for  their  big  day?

Ellie: I  think  a  really  good  one  is  thinking  about  ways  that  you  can  do  a  bit  of  DIY.  Even  if  you're  not  doing  a  full  scale  DIY  wedding,  there  are  elements  throughout  the  day  where  you  can  actually  get  stuck  in  or  you  can  get  your  bridesmaids,  get  the  groomsmen,  get  your  mother,  friends,  family  to  get  involved.  One  thing  that  I  did  for  my  wedding  is  we  bought  a  lot  of  flowers  wholesale,  and  the  night  before  my  mum  and  bridesmaids  basically  created  the  table  decorations,  because  I  knew  it  was  an  area  for  me  where  I  didn't  want  to  spend  a  lot  of  money.

There  were  other  areas  where  I  was  like, " That's  my  priority."  So  it  ended  up  costing  a  couple  of  hundred  pounds  to  do  all  the  table  decorations.  Where  if  you  pay  for  table  decorations,  you're  looking  at  thousands  of  pounds.  Things  other  people  have  done  are  things  like  dessert  tables  where  you  can  bake  a  load  of  brownies  and  have  a  table.  Or  things  like  a  donut  wall.  You  can  have  one  of those  really  cool  boards  where  you  order  loads  of  donuts  and  you  stick  them  on  and  people  can  go  up  and  take  their  own.  

And  yes,  it  probably  costs  you  a  couple  of  hundred  pounds,  but  compared  to  adding  an  extra  course  to  a  sit  down  dinner,  then  you're  going  to  save  money.  Thinking  a  little  bit  outside  the  box.  And a lot of these  things  actually you  can  make  look  really  cute  and  quirky  as  well.

Kia: My  friend,  she  had  a  DJ,  so  instead  of,  I  know  people  have  bands,  but  a  DJ  does  help  to  bring  down  that  cost?

Ellie: Yeah.  And  also  just  don't  feel  the  pressure,  like  you  said,  to  do  all  the  things  that  you  see  online.  One  thing  that  I  have  noticed  a  lot  of  people  have  stopped  doing,  thankfully,  and  I  didn't  do  it  either,  are  wedding  favors.  The  reality  is,  no  one  notices  if  you've  got  them  or  not.  And  I  also  think  a  great  tip  actually  is  think  about  your  wedding  from  the  perspective  of  a  guest.  So  think  about  when  you're  a  guest  at  other  weddings,  what  do  you  notice  and  what  don't  you  notice?  And  then  apply  that  to  your  own  wedding  as  well.

And  of  course  there'll  be  some  things  that  you  just  want  to  do  because  they  matter  to  you.  But  another  example  of  this  is, is  we  had  the  option  for  the  drinks  reception  of  upgrading  to  a  English  sparkling  wine  rather  than  a  Prosecco.  And  when  we  were  told  this,  we  were  like, " Oh,  well  that  would  be  really  nice  because  it's  an  English  countryside  Cotswold  wedding.  There's  something  really  nice  about  this  English  wine."  And  then  we  stopped  for  a  second  and  we  thought,  have  you  ever  thought, " What  am  I  drinking  at  a  wedding?"

Kia: It's  true.

Ellie: I  have  no  idea  what  I've  ever  drunk  at  a  wedding.  I  drink  what  I'm  given.  And  so  we  thought, " Okay,  we  can  save  ourselves  15  pounds  per  bottle  by  not  doing  that."

Kia: Wow.

Ellie: And  these  are  the  kind  of  costs  that  we're  talking  about.  15  pounds  a  bottle,  that's  like  a  lot  of  bottles,  a  lot  of  money.

Kia: Yeah, it's a lot of money  you  would've  spent.

Ellie: Yeah.

Kia: That's a  really  good  outlook  and  I  think  what  is  important  to  focus  on.  I've  seen  many  horror  stories  online  of  people  booking  services,  booking  professionals,  and  the  day  comes  and  they  back  out  last  minute,  maybe  a  week  before,  maybe  even  a  day  before,  maybe  even  on  the  day.  I've  heard  some  horrific  things.  

So  I  know  that  there are  things  that  you  can  do  to  protect  yourself.  One  thing  being  potentially  wedding  insurance.  So  could  you  talk  to  us  about  wedding  insurance  and  whether  or  not  this  is  important  to  have?

Ellie: Yeah,  so  I  think  it  really  depends  whether  it's  worth  it  based  on  A,  the  size  of  your  wedding  and  the cost  of  the  wedding,  but  also  the  different  policies  of  the  providers  and  the  suppliers.  And  that's  going  to  be  so  individual  based  on  your  wedding.  There  are  certain  venues  that  will  insist  that  you  have  insurance  before  you  go  and  actually  book.  

In  some  cases  you  are  going  to  have  to  get  a  policy  in  the  first  place.  But  I  also  think  it's  worth  having  those  conversations  with  your  suppliers,  like  your  photographers,  for  example,  or  your  band  or  your  DJ,  just  to  see  how  they  tend  to  operate.

And  like  you  say,  sometimes  people  back  out  at  the  last  minute.  I  think  it  really  comes  down  to  checking  what  the  Ts  and  Cs  are  before  you're  signing  up,  committing  money  to  different  suppliers.  

And  also  just  looking  at  the  overall  cost  and  working  out  what  would  happen  if  something  happened.  If  you  don't  have  insurance,  what's  your  plan  of  action?  What's  your  backup?  And  also  if  you  do  have  insurance,  is  it  actually  going  to  cover  the  eventualities  that  you  would  like  it  to  cover?

Kia: I  know  we  are  naturally  programmed  to  scroll  to  the  bottom  of  the  Ts and Cs and just sign  or  just  click  okay.  But  especially  when  it  comes  to  wedding,  there's  a  massive  expense.  I  think  anything  that's  going  to  cost  you  a  whole  chunk  of  money  that  you  don't  really  want  to  lose, you should be looking at-

Ellie: Read it properly.

Kia: What are you in for? What are  you  liable  for?  What are  they  liable  for?  So  you  can  make  sure  that you are  going  in  with  your  eyes  wide  open.

Ellie: Absolutely.

Kia: That's  the  key  thing.  Ellie,  you  have  shared  some  incredible  gems  and  I  have  learned  way  more  than  I  thought  I  would  about  weddings,  so  I  feel  like  I'm  ready.  I'm  ready  for  my  big  day.  Thank  you.  But  before  we  round  off,  what  are  your  top  three  tips  for  managing  the  cost of  a  wedding?

Ellie: Number  one,  communicate.  Communicate,  most  of  all  with  your  partner,  but  also  with  the  other  people  in  your  family,  other  people  that  might  be  involved.  Make  sure  that  you  are  having  regular  conversations  so  that  you  are  staying  on  track  when  it  comes  to  the  budget.  

Make  sure  that  everyone  is  working  from  the  same  page.  Ultimately, a  wedding  is  a  big  project  that  you're  all  a  big  team  working  towards  executing,  so  you  are  ultimately  the  project  manager.  So  get  on  the  same  page  and  schedule  those  regular  check- ins,  otherwise  it  will  go  off  plan.

Number  two,  don't  just  think  about  yourself.  And  I  know  that  sounds  strange  because  it's  your  big  day,  but  think  about  what  is  most  important  to  you  when  you're  planning  this  wedding.  Is  it  having  all  the  people  that  you  want  to  be  there,  or  is  it  having  the  day  in  the  way  that  you  have  pictured  it,  because  they're  not  always  compatible.  

And  I  say  that  meaning,  that  a  lot  of  the  time  what  ends  up  happening  is  that  a  bride  and  groom  make  decisions  about  a  wedding  that  basically  pushes  a  lot  of  costs  onto  the  guests.

They  will  decide  they  want  a  certain  venue  or  a  certain  destination,  and  the  consequence  is  that  the  guests  end  up  having  to  take  off  a  week  from  work,  pay  for  expensive  flights,  pay  for  expensive  accommodation.  And  what  can  end  up  happening  is,  A,  people  can  feel  resentful.  People  can  feel  pressured.  

But  then  also  I  think  sometimes  people  won't  be  able  to  go.  Asking  yourself,  what  is  most  important  to  me?  Is  it  about  people  being  there  and  spending  that  day  with  the  people  that  you  love  the  most?  Or  is  it  doing  things  in  the  way  that  you  wanted  even  if  it  means  some  of  those  people  can't  make  it.

And  three,  don't  forget  about  stag  and  hen- dos.  They  can  really,  really  get  out  of  control  when  it  comes  to  cost.  Have  a  think  about  how  to  try  to  manage  a  budget  for  your  stag  and  hen- do.

Kia: Those  are  some  good  tips,  especially  about  the  stag  and  hen,  I've  never  really  considered  that,  but  it  is  a  part  of  the  budget  that  you  need  to  factor  in.

Ellie: Oh  yeah.

Kia: Ellie,  you  have  opened  up  our  eyes  and  our  wallets  to  what  we  should  be  focusing  on  when  it  comes  to  wedding  budgets  and  planning  for  that  big  day.  So  thank  you  so  much  for  coming  onto  the  podcast.

Ellie: Thank  you for  having  me.

Kia: So  much  to  consider  on  tying  the  knot.  Thanks  for  breaking  it  all  down,  Ellie.  Next  time,  financial  wellbeing  expert,  Clare  Seal  will  be  here  to  help  us  feel  good  about  our  money.  I'd  love  it  if  you  could  review  the  podcast,  spread  the  word,  and  help  others  get  a little  bit  richer  too.  Keep  up with  the  show  on  TikTok and Instagram  at  Legal  and  General.  Thank  you  for  listening.  See  you  soon.

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